Disappointment.
A few weeks ago, in our Jesus SAID (stories) series, I spoke about the parable of the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8) – that in the face of her enormous disappointment and discouragement, Jesus encouraged us to “pray always and not to lose heart“. It’s an important message, as we all will and do face disappointment in life.
Last week, former Central member Shawn Blythe (who moved to Delaware) sent me a short blog on disappointment that I thought is really worth sharing with you today. So without further ado, please enjoy Shawn’s insightful thoughts on the topic…
At a recent college mentoring event, a student asked about how one handles disappointment in life. The question is not easily answered in the few minutes that is appropriate for a panel discussion. But I have been thinking about it ever since.
I think there are two types of disappointments, but from my perspective both produce a similar response to the question above.
The first is being disappointed with myself. These are cases where I have fallen short, not performed or otherwise behaved in a manner that was “less than” the level I felt was achievable. In these cases, I feel that disappointment is a good thing. It recognizes the fact that I can – and should – do better. It provides the impetus for improvement and an acknowledgement that I am capable of more. Past failures provide lessons and experience on which future success will be built. For me, these disappointments are easier to manage. They are within my control, and I can take action to avoid similar disappointments in the future.
The second is being disappointed with my circumstances, and I find these more difficult to manage. These are cases where my situation seems unfair, difficult or otherwise uncomfortable. I didn’t get the job I wanted, friends let me down, my health is failing, etc. In these cases, it is fair to say that I am in exceptionally good company. The Bible is littered with disappointed people. Moses was disappointed, David was disappointed, and Jeremiah was disappointed. Paul was disappointed. The disciples were disappointed with each other and Jesus was disappointed with them at times. It is a fallen world full of broken people and broken things. Our Christian life does not exempt from us the ramifications of living in such a world. The day we are no longer disappointed in our world is very likely the day that we are no longer in it.
Despite the somewhat gloomy assessment above, we should not allow our disappointments to overshadow our moments of joy or accomplishment. It is easy to gloss over all the things that have gone right in our day and focus on the one thing that didn’t. How many times have we had a day where one thing going wrong effectively overshadows everything else that went right? We quickly forget about everything other than the one thing that we wish hadn’t happened. Disappointments will happen, but we can choose how much focus we place on them.
Being disappointed in either ourselves or the world around us should not be a surprise to us. It is the uncomfortable reality of our earthly lives. But these disappointments are an opportunity to respond in a way that illustrates our faith. People notice how you respond when things don’t go as you had planned. The disappointments we suffer may not define us in the eyes of others – but our response often does.
– Shawn Blythe
How can we respond to disappointment differently today? How can we, as Jesus teaches, be persistent in prayer and seeking after God in and through our disappointments?
Grace & Peace,
Matt.