On Love & Forgiveness

A guest blog by Central member, Shawn Blythe, reflecting on today’s Bible reading.

I struggle with forgiveness.  

Not being forgiven, I like that part.  It’s the forgiving others part that causes me trouble.  Perhaps more specifically, I particularly struggle in forgiving others who don’t seem to recognize the harm they have done.  We have all experienced situations like this where somebody causes significant pain or hurt – but either doesn’t see it or perhaps justifies it as an appropriate reaction for whatever it was they were feeling at the time.  I wait for them to realize what they have done wrong, and acknowledge the pain and suffering they have caused.  I watch carefully, looking for signs of contrition.  I sit tight on my unassailable aggrieved person perch and eagerly anticipate their humble approach seeking forgiveness.  And if they seem to recognize the error of their ways and grovel sufficiently, I can usually muster up some level of forgiveness and pat myself on the back for being so Christ-like.

Unfortunately for me, this is not what Christ called me to do.  

Paul’s exhortation to the Colossians encourages them (and us) to “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col 3:13b).  And how – and perhaps more importantly for this discussion – when did God forgive me?  Christ effectively forgave me before I even asked.  God demonstrated his love for us by dying for us “while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8).  When Christ was being crucified, he asked God to “forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).  From a physical standpoint, they knew exactly what they were doing.  They were killing him while inflicting as much pain as possible.  But from a spiritual sense, they had no idea.  And Christ didn’t wait for them to figure it out before forgiving them.  This is a big problem for my tendency to dole out forgiveness post-groveling.

And it gets worse.  

After telling the Colossians to forgive, he continues by encouraging them to love one another.  And this brings me to the I Corinthians 13 reading from our Bible Reading Plan for today, May 14.  Although I, like you, have likely read this countless times, there were two items that were particularly noteworthy to me related to the forgiveness issue.  The first was the fact that love “keeps no record of wrongs”.  An expanded translation (Wuest) uses this language: “does not take into account the evil that it suffers”.  The second was that love “always hopes”.

So, not only am I called to forgive, but I am also told to forget about it.  And not only forget about it, but in addition, maintain a heartfelt optimism for the person who hurt me.  

Not easy.

But for those times (even if they are less frequent than they should be) when we have managed to do it, the result is amazing.  We suddenly realize that our ability to love and forgive is not dependent on the actions of others – and we can finally shed a burden we have been unnecessarily carrying for far too long.  There is a joy and relief in knowing that there is nothing others can do to us that we cannot, with God’s help, unilaterally set aside.

There is a sense of restfulness as we “Let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts” (Col 3:15a).  I would write more, but my aggrieved person perch has become embarrassingly uncomfortable and it’s well past time for a new approach.

Grace & Peace,

Shawn Blythe